These past few—well four months—have been a recap of a sad episode in my life I have been trying to keep off my head. I didn’t understand why everything was so fast, it felt like the world was in a rush to meet up with a deadline, but it didn’t take so long to finally decipher why the earth was spinning so fast—of course, my best friend was running out of time.


Yes… you read that—it is what it is—it’s been so hard to believe those words just like you might not believe me right now.
“Your friend was an amazing being till her last day. Although, I do not know why she decided to suffer in silence. Your friend had Leukemia, and she has been in and out of therapy for 3 years.”
“Leu… what!? 3 years? How come we didn’t know.” Maruwa said amidst tears.
“Because she didn’t want you to know—as I said earlier, I don't know why it was so hard to open up. But during one of our conversations, I had asked her the same question I’ve always asked her but that day she said: ‘All my life I’ve always been full of life and energy and I wouldn’t want to spend the last days of my life on a sickbed. Also, I don’t want people throwing pathetic smiles at me—I just want to feel every event of my life with every fibre of my skin. And my friends, they don’t deserve to suffer with me, they have their issues too—I don’t deserve to be the cause of their unhappiness’ was what she had told me that day.”
“God!” Maruwa exclaimed in a flat and teary voice.
“Your friend was a fighter, she did fight her battle. She was quite lucky that her illness didn’t get to the stage where she has to be immobile all the time—the illness granted her last wish—obviously. There were days she had to stay back for treatment though, but she never liked it here. She really carried her pains so well in silence. The silence was audible enough but I’m scared you didn’t hear the echoes in the background. I’m sorry Ladies for your loss, she was someone I never wanted to let go as well.

My world went from beautiful colours to a dull monochrome. Of course, I heard everything Dr Fili had said but I didn’t understand—the language had sounded like Spanish…Japanese…sorry, Hindi… a couple of gibberish German…but it was English and the sad truth was I effing heard everything he had said that day. I searched Maruwa’s face for an answer but her face was so expressionless—she was probably searching for an answer from mine too—this is a hard blow. Keke gave no clue.
 I had felt the same way when Brodo died a year ago—almost 2 years now—but this time there was no tears—just shock, unanswered question and an audible silence. Somehow, impossible as it seemed, I now existed in a world where my “best friend forever” did not. Was not. Would not.

Keke’s  Landlord has been choking me with frequent calls since the time he heard about what happened to his tenant. The sad reality about death is life goes on, the man wants to rent out her apartment but we need to come to pack her stuff in the house.

The house still smells like her. Every corner of her mini flat reminds me of every memory we had made in this small haven. I could still see Keke preparing our favourite dish, her loud laughter until she stutters, her dry jokes, her savage comebacks… and the way her face lit up when she talks about the future. She was so full of life—so alive to be dead, really—she was so selfless, beautiful in and out, and a crazy life lover even in a confined place. When I saw her phone— I felt a sharp pain in my eye—she was always protective of that phone, silly ass! Will I ever hear your voice over the phone again? The HELLO BABE, I GET GIST OOO… HELLO, YOU DON HEAR?...  all those random calls… the discussion about everything, anything and nothing. I had lost a constant in my life. A friend. A sister.

“I’m sorry Keke, we should have known—you should have told us. I’m so sorry.”
“Hey babe, not again.” Bikori came rushing to my side. Yes, you remember Bikori—the annoying dude I met at the eatery some months ago. Annoying still, but the sweetest guy I've met after Brodo. Things have not gotten so deep yet but…
“We had an agreement before coming here na.”
“Yes... it is hard, Bikori. This was where we had sat up to watch movies, to play games, to discuss everything and nothing. It is so hard not to remember the days we had laughed so hard, the plans we had made in this mini place, the baseless fights, the…”
“… I understand, but it is okay, huh?” He pulled me into a warm embrace
I nodded, sniffing and wiping my tears.
“Look what I found! A diary!” Maruwa emerged from Keke’s room.
“Diary? Keke never kept one. Is it hers?” I asked.
“Of course. See this…”

Dear Diary, …


Keke is dead! How did you take this?
What is in the diary?

As each Tuesday rolls by, it reminds of the beginning of the end of the series. Thanks for sticking with me through this journey. I appreciate you!




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