13 KINDS OF PEOPLE YOU WATCH MOVIES WITH
IT'S MOVIE TIME!!!
I know I still don't know why movies bore me--not bore like that, but I'm a lazy person when it comes to movies. Sometimes I really want to cultivate the habit of watching movies, especially when people are discussing about movies and I just can't relate, but it's like this movie-thang is not matching with my destiny. I watch movies sometimes though, but it's either the over-hyped ones with thrilling trailers or I'm just super bored. I've once watched a movie while I was focusing on something else, I was just listening, not watching, no be my fault, and hey no be village people, keep your words, thanks!
So, how are you doing? How has 2021 been? And have you been "bussing-it"? Or you are just on a "slow-motion"?
Sometimes the right movie goes wrong because you are not watching with the right people. These are 13 different kinds of people you've probably have had a movie experience with:
THE SERIOUS ONES
You see these ones, they watch movies like they would write an exam review after the movie time. These are the people who use "all their body" to watch a film and they are always oblivious about what goes on around them. They don't lose focus and their eyes never leave the screen. They are "kuku" not hard to find, when you see people who place their palms on their chins, squint their eyes, and appear lifeless on a spot, call them the what...
THE MOVIE PARROTS
Please avoid me. AHHH! These ones never stop talking, arguing or commenting. They always have an opinion about every scene, character, action, and whatever goes on from the beginning till the end of the movie.
"Ahh, why did he go? Ohhh, I remember when a friend to my aunt sister's cousin did this exact thing this guy just did... But do you think the guy will kill his wife?"
They talk that you end up sleeping with their voices in your heads, you won't even hear the characters' voices.
REACTOR OF LIFE
Small thing no dey pinch these ones o. They shout, scream, jump, constantly gasp, clap, in fact, they oji-gbi-ji-gbi their heads like Papa Ajasco.
But wait bruhhh, let's be calming down na. It's just a movie.
ALL WATCH, NO GAIN
These ones are very annoying! These are the kind of people you shouldn't trust with NTA or AIT series because they just watch and don't understand. Imagine missing a scene and you ask them what's up since you left, they will just tell you;
"Ehn, I don't know, I sha saw one man talking to one girl."
Or they watch 2hours, forty-something minutes film and you ask them about the movie and all you get is:
"I don't even understand, I sha watched it. But is interesting oo."
THE RESTLESS ONES
These ones are super-annoying! Please avoid me. These are those that won't let a scene go without knowing or getting all the details. They pause, forward, rewind and sometimes ZOOOOOOMMMMMM.
Bet why Ahn-Tee? Why?
THE MOVIE JONAHS
Trust me, these ones can't finish 1-minute movie, they will definitely sleep off after 30 seconds. They magically get bitten by tsetse fly once a movie is played. And some of them will wake up after the movie has ended and say the movie was interesting.
THE EMOTIONAL ONES
These ones are soft at heart and always connected to a movie. Small thing like this, na ocean of tears go dey stream down their cheeks. They cry when a character finally falls in love, they cry when their favourite actor is shown, they cry when others are laughing, even if na comedy, they laugh until they cry...
And hey don't be so surprised if after some days they tell you:
"But babe, that movie still makes me cry. I cried again last night..."
These ones are the "hai-tee-kay" but they don't know anything in the real sense because they have either read about the movie or already seen it. They tell you the next scene, what would happen, how the movie will end, and if you don't catch your sub quick, you would think they are some sort of film genius, but na lie.
"You will see. I told you." Those are their lines.
Ahhhh! These ones give me a headache. They are always clueless. They ask random questions at nano-seconds or as each scene unfolds. You know the one that boils my blood most when they ask how a certain scene would end...
Are we not watching this thing together. Did we write the script together?
THE MOVIE GURU
These ones know the history of every actor in the movie, and they like to show it. As each character is being introduced they tell you at least 10 things about them in real life.
"She just got married. This guy, no, I mean the gate-keeper, he is so rich ehn. This guy is not fine but if you see his wife, omooooooo x10000."
These ones have an internal fight with mind-reading, so they read subtitles aloud. Like, come off it, who does that?
The reader has category o, they even go as far as pausing a movie to check the meaning of a word in the dictionary.
Readers, avoid me, biko.
Okay, M.Y. ALLI is telling you categorically that people study movie law in the university, and it is not so hard to find the graduates of this course.
They are those who either judge a character or the plot of the movie. It's not like they can act to save their lives o, but you will find them saying;
"That film shouldn't have ended that way. The guy can't even act well. The storyline is lame."
Abeg, where is the way to the court of law?
THE COPY & PASTE PERSONNEL
Have you ever watched a movie and you see yourself copying and pasting a particular character's smile, accent, style or even the way they sit or eat into your being?
Abeg this movie thing na wahala oo.
All of these characters make a movie worthwhile but it could be super annoying. I would love to know which one you are? Or maybe you play a different character that wasn't mentioned, I would love to know in the comment section.
I rep team "MOVIE JONNAHS" though.
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